Spend the whole day at home. I have this little project I am dying to get my hands off it. It's due on the 15th, so my agony will soon end. This morning dad came home from somewhere babbling about how successful his nephews are doing business today. I don't know but suddenly I felt, through personally validated assumptions, that he was trying to poke me subtly how our lives should be better if I had just step up to my part in raising the family. Then this overly sensitive kid came out of me asking if I'm making my parents proud of what I am today. Somehow I feel guilty that I am not the architect they expected me to be. I tried to put up a straight face but my dismay was obvious. A series of "what ifs" flied over my head. What if I pursued professional work two years ago? What if I just stopped everything I'm doing right now and focus on taking care of my family? What if...?! Here I go again. I talked to God for strength.