Lord, what's your will for me today? For past weeks I've been rolling along with the tides. Nothing new for a spiritual ADD like me. At work, I'm getting the laid off. Bosses are gone for 3 months. Projects almost done. I am very glad to contribute my God-given abilities. I am given an unofficial rest period. At school, academics are finally catching up with me. Accelerating. If I don't keep up my pace, I will fall behind studies. Me & my friends don't spend much time anymore, we have different scheds. There was a time in a moment of loneliness, amidst crowds, I went to the prayer room and just stay there, telling God my mind. Lord, what do you want me to do? I need Your instruction. Thank You for speaking to me in Your Word. Those words of comfort and encouragement that You see me. Thank You because you know what I need. Nothing Without You Bebo Norman Take these hands and lift them up | For I have not the strength to praise You near enough | For I have nothing, I have nothing without You | Take my voice and pour it out | Let it sing the songs of mercy I have found | For I have nothing, I have nothing without You [+] All my soul needs is all Your love to cover me | So all the world will see that I have nothing | But I love You with all my heart | With all my soul | With all my mind | with all the strength that I can find Take my body and build it up | May it be broken as an offering of love | For I have nothing, I have nothing without You Take my time here on this earth and let it glorify all that You are worth | For I am nothing, I am nothing without You

Did not go to work today. I wasn't able to wake up. My mom tried to wake me up, but I "told" her I have no work and my class is later in afternoon. Sometimes I do that - talking unknowingliy. Weird. Coincidentaly, the BOH people are out of office. They are all in the warehouse checking out glitches on the new printed books.

Wednesday. Haven't blogged for a week. Lazy, busy. Today is class day. I have two 3-hour classes, one in the morning another in the evening. Morning class was Gospel to Acts. It was a surprise that our dean Dr. Tappeiner sat in our discussion which made me a little intimated so I didn't speak much. I remember the first time I spoke in this class my professor already corrected my wrong use of word. Bloopers. But today the class went well. It's like everyone is on their toes. Dr. T. is a prophet, as he defines his calling, and I think he is. After class, I went to the prayer room to pray... but was too sleepy 'cause I lacked sleep so I slept for a while on the carpet inside an air-conditioned prayer room. I have so much to tell God. I have to meet Him. After sometime, I went down to the library to do my assignments for tomorrow and next week. 5PM was our Worship and Music class. This was our first class. Our prof missed our first two classes because she went to States. Class was OK. She asked each one of us to introduce our partner and sing their favorite worship song.

Indescribable

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea | Creation's revealing Your majesty | From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring | Every creature unique in the song that it sings | All exclaiming... [+] "Indescribable! Uncontainable!" | You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name | You are amazing God! | All powerful! Untamable! | Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim | You are amazing God! Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go | Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow | Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light | Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night | None can fathom [+] Incomparable! Unchangeable! | You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same! | You are amazing God!

Here at school again just like my last post. During Wednesdays, I have a 3-hour class in the morning and then 3 hour class in the evening. So I have 5 hours of free time, just lounging here in the library, doing my assignments - because there is no other time to do it, 'cause I'm such a busybody :) I thought I would be late this morning. Strangely I woke up 6 in the morning, like I was ready to go to school. I believe He woke me up, and thankfully I was able to spend some God-time in the morning. I've been a bad person for the past weeks. I was lagging on my devotion. I'm growing short of patience. And I was busy, busy, busy. But thankfully I am back. Was also able to spend lots of God-time after morning class. I missed the prayer room in school, a place where I can just confine myself with God... Anyway I'll continue blogging later. Back to my reading requirements.

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes Which of the X-Men Are You?

You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

Titus 2

Where are the older men and older women of our church who will set an example for the younger generation how to live life, people who understand the value of teaching young people what they know, concerned with the welfare of their spirituality? May it be one day, Lord that when I become older that I would become someone who would still be involved in shaping the minds of the youth. So they will know and love you and be part of a family to be loved and cherished.

30 minutes to my next subject after 5 hours of break. I'm here in the library of ASCM doing reading assignments already. And school season has just began. I haven't been blogging lately because of lots of things to do. Life is an endless rollercoaster. I'm a struggling son trying to please his parents while doing his vocation. Today is a season of uprooting deep roots of bitterness in relationships. There are times when you realize that God makes you confront your unfinished businesses and you realize you are cornered, no way to escape. Those are the times when you have to come clean, surrender and let God be God. Thank God for He is full of mercy. Vocation-wise, I am faced with opportunities to serve Him to the fullest. My current unofficial motto is "impact as many people as possible through my God-given abilities." Others call it "ambition," though such sense of excellence and advancement is not totally evil. Having said that I leave God to be the sole furnace of my thoughts, motives and deeds. And may I please Him more and more each day.

These 2 Tagalog Book of Hopes are the first project I made for Book of Hope. I typeset it from English to Filipino.

My Summer

Been very busy lately so I can't blog extensively. But so much has been happening in my life. I just praise God for His grace and mercies that are new every morning!

"I will not offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God which cost me nothing ." - David (2Sa 24:24) There is something valuable about giving up to God (something) that cost us (something, forgive the redunduncy), moreover cost us everything. In this passage, David realizes his flaw and begins to atone for it by setting up an altar from another person's territory. Though his subject allows him to offer his sacrifice free of charge of venue even provide his own working bull as an offering, David strictly declines: "No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price, for I will not offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God which cost me nothing." In the end it says the Lord was moved by David's prayer and lifted judgment upon him and Israel. Three things when we talk about offering God something that means something: (1) Meet your God in your threshing floor. (2) Never deceive yourself by allowing others pay for your load. (3) Understand that your heart/attitude and actions (in other words, integrity) comes to play.

You Raise Me Up

Selah When I am down, and oh my soul, so weary | When troubles come and my heart burdened be | Then, I am still and wait here in the silence | until You come and sit awhile with me. [+] You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains | You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas | I am strong, when I am on Your shoulders | You raise me up to more than I can be There is no life, no life without its hunger | each restless heart beats so imperfectly | But when You come and I am filled with wonder | sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity

Videos from our Ifugao Mission Trip:

• Intro
• Daily Vacation Bible School
• Youth Rally
• Evangelistic Outreach

Pictures here.

Here are some excerpts from last week's Morph Youth Congress. Thank God for Mini DV :P

Hey I'm back. Got back from Cebu Friday evening. Congress was a blast! Especially hearing and being inspired and encouraged from our special speaker Ptr. Chris Long. Been very busy as I now prepare to go up to Ifugao. Our team will be leaving at 8:30PM to take an 11 hour bus ride to Kiangan, Ifugao. They say this is the site of the Yamashita's treasure. Today is Mothers Day. I delivered the Mothers Day message about honoring our parents. It went well. I'm amazed how God uses imperfect people. I am nothing without Christ.

Your Unfailing Love

When the darkness fills my senses When my blindness keeps me from your touch, Jesus come When my burden keeps me doubting When my memories take the place of you Jesus come And I'll follow you there to the place where we meet And I'll lay down my pride as you search me again Your unfailing love over me again

Saturday evening. I'm here at our staff annual retreat in the room with Kuya Larry. Punta de Fabian in Antipolo is not as cool as Tagaytay, but the place is very nice, the facilities and all. I bet the price is also "nice." But I'm very thankful that I was able to join this retreat even though I'm just part-time staff. But still they treat me as family (I'm the bunso of the team, since I'm the youngest). On our trip we are joined by the National Book of Hope Team of Taiwan. This morning we went to Pagsanjan Falls. It's a great place, though I still like Tapiyya Falls of Ifugao better. But I enjoyed the journey to Pagsanjan Falls as canoes take you upstream through wide rivers and narrow rushing rapids. It was all nature, no sign of human creation or desecration, except for small sari-saris here and there. Water is very, very cold and one could see small fishes beneath the surface of the water. The river is walled by two great walls of lush green vegetation with occasional trickling of small falls above. They say above the cliff is Caliraya. When we reached the falls, we took pictures and swam in the rapids. On the way back I tried on rowing the canoe reminiscent of my dragonboat days. Went home tired and slept the whole afternoon 'til evening. Tonight during our sessions the "newbies" were asked to share a bit of their journey to Book of Hope & APCC (Asia Pacific Campus Challenge is the department I belong). For me it was really unannounced because my name wasn't really on the list on paper. But anyway, so I shared. I didn't realize that I am already here for 6 months. Since November 2005 when I resigned from work until now. God is really faithful, I mean as you journey in time, you can really see how God has made His promises and still doing it, revealing Himself and His work for me and to me progressively. After I spoke I didn't really feel that I got my message completely across, so I figured I will outline it below. Through this retreat I sensed that I fit in this place (for now. I don't know what God has for me in the future). I am beginning to appreciate the people, and so I am beginning to open up. I met a very interesting girl from Taiwan, she doesn't speak English fluently but her passion for Jesus is amazing. We agreed to continue communicating when she gets back to Taiwan so she could practice her English. In the future, I am looking at the possibility of working full-time. But for now, I need to finish my studies, if the Lord wills. Time to sleep. We have service tomorrow. My Journey to Book of Hope 2003.12 - AG Philippines General Assembly in Caliraya, Laguna. I was introduced to Kuya Sur and he invited me to join Asian Institute for Youth Studies in April 2004 - In 2003 I was also professionally working on Hopenet.net website for APCC. 2004.03 - Graduated in UST with a Bachelor of Science in Architecture. Dilemma to work between secular and ministry began. Began to pray. 2004.04 - First contact with Ate Beth for student arrangements for AIYS through phone, text & e-mails. - Went up to APTS for AIYS 2004. Got to know Kuya Sur better, challenging me in the ministry. - Met Kuya Ty & Ate Cina Silva, the directors of BOH-APCC. - Prayer answered through word of the Lord from one of classmates. 2004.06 - Inquired and began to enroll in ASCM but denied because of late application. 2004.10 - First semester in ASCM. 2005.04 - Mission trip to Badjaos in Bataraza, Palawan with Pastor Joedy and Good News Christian Fellowship of Dagupan City. Made a lasting impression to the leadership of BFGFC youth. 2005.05 - Began preparation for Book of Hope distribution in Filipino-Chinese schools of Manila with Ate Angie Tud. - National Youth Congress in Iloilo City. 2005.06 - Second semester in ASCM. - 5 out of more than 15 schools were approved in Book of Hope distribution. 2005.07 - Volunteered in Book of Hope distribution for Gospel Church of Manila in Jose Abad Santos High School. My first Book of Hope presentation in classroom. - Book of Hope distribution in Metropolitan Nursing College, Hope Christian High School, Sun Yat Sen High School, Manila Patriotic Academy, and Jin Nan Institute with Affect Destiny Team from Las Vegas. - Book of Hope distribution in Tondo High School. - Hopefest and weekly student fellowship held at church but short-lived. 2005.10 - Invited to speak for Chi Alpha Campus Ministries of Compostella Valley in Davao City. - Finally after much hesitation, I finally quit my job in Vignettes for Training as one of the last pioneer designers (2002) in the company. - Third semester in ASCM (the loss of job, emotional stress and school work brought together an all-time low in me). 2005.11 - Called Kuya Jerry Balbuena to inquire for job openings in Book of Hope. But Ty and Cina are not in Manila. - Two weeks after, as I am about to ask Kuya Jerry to cancel interview for other job options, the Silvas arrive and scheduled me for interview. - November 21, Monday officially started work in APCC. 2006.05 - 6th month in APCC. - Currenly working on Hope Education Foundation text books for Swaziland on literacy and AIDS awareness program.

Things I rave about this May: Almost every week I'm going away. Today after lunch I'm off to Antipolo and Pagsanjan for our staff retreat in Book of Hope. Next two weeks I'm off to Cebu for the National Youth Congress of AG. Week after that I'm going to Ifugao to do missions with Kuya Alvin and Ate Angie. These are the good days. I thought this year would be boring but it's all good. What's cool about this is that it's not totally a vacation as in lie down, eat drink and be merry, but I'm still doing part of ministry to my Lord. How cool is that. Too bad I'm missing this Saturday's Carecell party, we've just had new staff and I believe something good is up in their sleeves. God is good. I also anticipating the Da Vinci Code, too bad I'm gonna see it after I got back from Ifugao.

Watched the primier of Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition. The housemates looks promising. Except that as always ABS ruins the reality of things by its scripted speils, stuff which needs to be left as natural. But as a minister to the youth, this took a particular interest in me as this show is an enclosed case study of different personalities and qualities of young people. As I watched the show, there has been stirring in my heart that truly the youth is the hope of our future.

Had an open forum in our youth group tonight. One thing I reestablished myself tonight: Burdens get lighter ones you share it.

Another day in the life of me. In a few minutes I'll be leaving for a meeting with a representative from Word of Hope for our second All-out Praise and Worship happening on May 28. After that at 1PM, Celebrity Sports Complex for semi-finals of our sectional basketball tournament. at 4PM, Youth Carecell. Thank God he has given me opportunity to travel this summer. In May, I'm off to Cebu for our National Youth Conference. I'm planning to head there early so that I could spend some time visiting some tourist sites and also visit our former senior pastor in Immanuel Bible College. Perhaps I could go to the beach (yey!), if the Lord is willing. And the next week after that Ifugao naman ulit!!! Yeah! I'll be joining Ptr. Alvin in a mission trip in Kiangan. It's amazing, because I didn't really plan for this, but still, He provides. But for now, off to the meeting. The Lord is my Ebenezer! (God is my helper)

Discontent

I don't want to be a person who just happened to be an avid fan of Christian songs I don't want to be a person who just happened to be a jack of all trades I don't want to be a person who just happened to be raised on empty religiosity I don't want to be a person who just happened to be cowardly peaceful toward others I don't want to be a person who just happened . I have a calculated purpose, divine at that. I want to be someone beyond the perceived norm I want to be a genuinely real, upright and blameless before Him and Him alone So I prostrate in humble gratitude, grateful humility To make a difference just as He made a difference No matter how small, as long as it matters to Him Lord, that's what I want to be From glory to glory change me that I may share Your suffering and glory

Back in office now. Noon. I went back home (1 hour away) to get my external hard disk where my projects for the office are saved. What a waste of precious time! Lately I'm noticing I'm experiencing minor memory loss. I forget this and that, it's weird. Perhaps it's because of stress or too much thinking. Anyway, driving at noon is suicide. Sun is sweltering, blistering whatever you wanna call it, basta ang ineet! Car airconditioning no use, just opened car windows then it went cooler. Going back, stopped at Fruit Magic for watermelon shake pero wala. So got a large strawberry shake and grilled chicken wrap for lunch. I deserve this.

I'm so sleepy na. Have to wake up tomorrow early to get to work. I'm doing 4-day work week this summer. I need to get some exercise now. Tummy is getting healthy and healthier. Perhaps badminton queueing next week. Thank You God! You are so good! Been reading this guy's blog. Talk about so pysched Jesus Christ! Astig (I was gonna say 'idol').

"If the Lord had not cut short those days, no one would survive (the world). But for the sake of the elect, whom he has chosen, he has shortened them." Mark 13:20 I just remembered this passage shared by our retreat speaker Ptr. Dimla about how God is cutting short the days of man and that His return is near. True enough, these days are passing like minutes. I remember I just got out of bible school, and now it's mid-vacation, I'll be enrolling again soon. That's scary as in freaky. Days are moving so fast. Next time you never know it's Christmas again(! I like Christmas.) Then it's 2007 and I'm a year older. The passage says that it is for the sake of the elect (Jesus freaks; his chosen people) God is cutting short our days because if not the growing evil in the world will swallow us whole. Lord, teach us to number our days.

Love Bade Me Welcome

Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back, Guilty of dust and sin. But quick-ey'd Love, observing me grow slack From my first entrance in, Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning If I lack'd anything. "A guest," I answer'd, "worthy to be here"; Love said, "You shall be he." "I, the unkind, the ungrateful? ah my dear, I cannot look on thee." Love took my hand and smiling did reply, "Who made the eyes but I?" "Truth, Lord, but I have marr'd them; let my shame Go where it doth deserve." "And know you not," says Love, "who bore the blame?" "My dear, then I will serve." "You must sit down," says Love, "and taste my meat." So I did sit and eat. - George Herbert (1593-1633)

Been wanting to get this book for some time now. This got out when the Narnia fever started. Today in National Bookstore as I was about to pay for the book, the cashier told me it's for half the price (50%). It was an unexpected surprise (kaya nga surprise e). So I got to get two more books: "Anyone Can Lead: Guidelines for Leading Outreach Bible Studies" & "Cross Currents: The Story of the Muslim and Christian Encounter in the Philippines" both from OMF Literature. OMF rocks!

He Is Not Here.

A photo essay.

It's Ressurection Sunday. Easter service this morning was ok. I led worship. It's amazing when you're in front of the pulpit, a private viewpoint to our congregation. Some are passionately worshipping, others with arms crossed are just mere spectators. I would try to stare longer on people who were not participating in worship. And then it becomes a who-stares-the-longest game. Of course, I have to be a worshipper myself. Didn't achieve that 100%. I had things going on on my head. Thoughts of frustration, helplessness, guilt and loneliness. For me, for my ministry and for the church. Going to retreat before Sunday was a refresher, because I was able to talk to our pastor's wife, exchanging encouragements and affirmations. Also, at one night we had an extended worship as a youth group after the evening session. We all needed that. But after those, I'm left with the question "why?" "What for?" I feel I am lost of purpose of doing such things. Perhaps not losing purpose but I feel that no matter how much I turn things around and before, things aren't gonna change much around here. We had a huge rock sitting on our way. But I must be encouraged. I don't want to let the bad melancholy in me win. Lord, let Your rain fall down on us.

I am delusional Boxed in a room of dysfunction It's a man for himself A conspiracy to survival Looking out the window, hoping Towards bright horizon May You come so quickly And sweep us away

What A Day!

What a day it was today! Just got home driving from Fairview a.k.a. "a very far place." Lot's of things happened today. I feel I'm under attack here. First I got a distrubing message in the morning. My car was towed at noon, caused me to pay up P1,500 to redeem the car. In the evening I drove back to a concrete wall causing the bumper to have serious scratches. I bet I'm going to experience a serious nagging tomorrow for the scratched car. All these because I've been trying to get back on track with my devotionals. At least I know I'm on the right track back. It's amazing how the enemy will do everything to distract you away from Him. But thanks to the devotional time this morning, I got home just before what's left of my sanity totally snatched away.

"No one understands as well as He your peculiarities of character. He is watching over you, and if you are willing to be guided by Him, He will throw around you influences for good that will enable you to accomplish all His will for you."

- Messages to Young People Ellen O. White, ca 1930

Took this pic of a car in traffic while driving off to work yesterday along EDSA... hehe..

Devotions

• Thank You, Lord, that You have prepared an inheritance for us. Thank You that You are our highest reward.
• Thank You that You lead us out of our comfort zones even it would mean bringing us through momentary pain and suffering so that we would become more like You. Lord, make me more like You.
• Thank You, Lord, that You are merciful and full of compassion.
• Thank You that You have the power to change my life.
• Lord, thank You that you give us rest after a victorious battle.
• Thank You that Your word promises that "not one of the good promises which the Lord had made to Israel has failed; all came to pass."
• Thank You because You are our City of Refuge in times when we unintentionally 'kill' someone. Thank You for Your mercy.
• Thank You, Lord, because You put spiritual monuments in my life that reminds of Your faithfulness and love so that I can return in times of disorientation and confusion.
• Thank You because You are the God of unity that causes my heart to live in unity with my brothers.

"No weapon that is formed against you will prosper. And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn - This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their vindication is from Me," declares the Lord. (Isaiah 54:17) "The weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses." (2 Corinthians 10:4)

Spent this morning running our sectional basketball event. Even with minor hassles at the start, the games for today ended pretty good. I had minor sunburns because their was no roof and we stayed until 1PM.

So Sick

by Ne-yo Gotta change my answering machine now that I'm alone | 'Cause right now it says that we can't come to the phone | And I know it makes no sense 'cause you walked out the door | But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore It's ridiculous | It's been months and for some reason I just can't get over us | And I'm stronger than this | Enough is enough | No more walkin' round with my head down | I'm so over being blue cryin' over you [+] And I'm so sick of love songs | So tired of tears | So done with wishing you were still here | Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow | So why can't I turn off the radio? Gotta fix that calendar I have | That's marked July 15th | Because since there's no more you there's no more anniversary | I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you and your memory | And how every song reminds me of what used to be

Your true color is Brown! What's Your True Color? You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

Went today at our school's graduation ceremonies. Some of my classmates have already graduated. Woke up 8:30AM, prepared to go to school, because I STILL have the last paper to submit. And I did a ministry project for one of my professors. But, while waiting for the shower to be free, I lied down and read for a while and went asleep. Next time I woke up it was 1:30PM! That was bad. I arrived at school at 4PM. The graduates are already lined-up for march. The following hours were humbling, as I am in the presence of graduates and distiguished guests. They had this alumni of the year who was recognized for his faithfulness to the Lord after graduating in ASCM. I thought, could I step up to that kind of challenge/responsibility? The special guest speaker's message was nailed straight to my heart. To sum it up, he shared, "Life is too short to play it safe." After graduation, we went for dinner in G4. Went to the guys' dorm and watched a movie. Got home 1PM.

Woke up early. Thank God it rained last night. Today's weather is even cloudy. I hope it continues to rain.

Afternoon at house. Summer's really in, it's freakin' hot in my room. School's officially out. Yesterday dropped of my last paper for a class. This semester was really a toxic one, actually my life as a whole. Dealt with school, work, ministry plus emotional ups and downs. Thank God it's over. I've been praying together with my D-group my desire to do freelance work this summer now that I have more free time. And praise God, as of the moment I have five potential projects with three already in progress. Thank You, Lord. You are so good to me. I remember my conversations with Kuya Sur back then about walking in faith. "How does the secure walk in faith?" And I remember what we came up with - contentment. Simple yet profound. But still did not keep me from being selfishly ambitious. Though these experiences for the past semesters have NOT been all bad. There are good days and bad days to learn from. I am very grateful for He's patience and love, that even though some people would eventually give up on you (which I totally understand because they are also human like me) He is still there... still. Still Hide me now | Under your wings | Cover me | within your mighty hand [+] When the oceans rise and thunders roar | I will soar with you above the storm | Father you are king over the flood | I will be still and know you are God Find rest my soul | In Christ alone | Know his power | In quietness and trust

[Classmates: Erene, me and Mutya] Last night after class. Somehow by some freak coincidence we decided to wear the same color at the same time. Pink was really the color of the day at school. That's me not making pa-cute, but I was in a hurry because I can see my classmates already leaving for our after sem fellowship. I was like "hey wait for me!" [L-R: Kuya Rey, me, Kuya Ron (unseen: Kuya Manny), Kuya Alex & wife, Kuya Jae & Kuya Jun] After sem dinner fellowship with OT class at Dampa, Macapagal Ave.

My Favorite Things #7 - Interview with God Movies

www.InterviewWithGod.com I just remembered the website called Interview with God which features inspiring presentations about God and life. I just discovered that there are more online movies made after that. A fusion of words and breath-taking pictures compose the movie's inspiring messages that gives it's audience peace and faith. Notable movie's are "Interview with God 1" and "Forgiven". A good share, and it's free. You can also listen to Rebecca Robert's soothing piano masterpieces featured in the movies. My Favorite Things #6 - Happy Days - Filipino pop icon tees, Red Lane, G4 (Thanks Erene!) My Favorite Things #5 - The Big Chill - Fruit Shakes, watermelon shake for hot summer My Favorite Things #4 - She's the Man - Amanda Bynes movie My Favorite Things #3 - Yellow Cab Pizza's Pistachio Ice Cream My Favorite Things #2 - Chronicles of Narnia My Favorite Things #1 - Demitri Martin

Interview with God

I dreamed I had an interview with God. "So you would like to interview me?" God asked. "If you have the time" I said. God smiled. "My time is eternity." "What questions do you have in mind for me?" "What surprises you most about humankind?" God answered... "That they get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again." "That they lose their health to make money... and then lose their money to restore their health." "That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future." "That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived." God's hand took mine and we were silent for a while. And then I asked... "As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn?" "To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved." "To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others." "To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness." "To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them." "To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least." "To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings." "To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently." "To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves." "Thank you for your time," I said humbly. "Is there anything else you would like your children to know?" God smiled and said, "Just know that I am here... always." -author unknown

Though the cherry trees don't blossom and the strawberries don't ripen, Though the apples are worm-eaten and the wheat fields stunted, Though the sheep pens are sheepless and the cattle barns empty, I'm singing joyful praise to GOD. I'm turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.

- Habakkuk 3:17-18 (The Message)

Now that's a challenge. Keeping your mouth shut while waiting for God's visitation is one thing. But "turning cartwheels of joy" to God? Lord please teach me this virtue.

This is a facial representation of what I think about the day today and you might know what.

We are Pentecostals - Spirit-filled believers who believes in the active part of the Holy Spirit in empowering His people. But yet how come we supress the workings of the Holy Spirit? How dare we put Him in a man-made box as if He could be tamed?! In our worship we have moved away from His sovereign leading to less than five minutes of Spirit-time or much worse - none at all. We pray without a clear purpose that is allowing God to work in His omnipotence His plans for world redemption. We treat God as a "celestial vending machine" whom we kick if He doesn't give out. Why do we pray? We are worse than robots in a sense that robots never grow tired of their task. Look at us. Less than an hour of keeping watch at our Master and our legs grow restless like a hot dog. Let us pray that we will not fall into temptation. True, how can one pray with much fervor and passion if one is not empowered to believe, to be certain of what is invisible? God's Spirit is not tame, my brothers, He is wild but good. We speak of conquests, revivals, and transformations which will never happen if we do not yield ourselves - broken vessels, willing vessels to be used in His kingdom. There's a growing trend of spiritual apathy in the Church today. We are failing to step up as a Body, a Nation whom God has chosen to become the light into darkness. I pray that when He returns we will not be caught naked - lazy and shameful servants engrossed with self-serving and short-sighted motives. Nevertheless, come Lord Jesus.

Woke up 11AM today. After lunch I went to Makati to pick up Weng's camera. After yesterday's negotiation when to get the memory card, much to her kind annoyance because I was very 'eager' to see the pictures of our organized event. I planned on shopping today at Glorietta. It's whole day sale until tomorrow. Just then, I realized, I left my credit card at home. An engot moment there. I didn't bring any cash with me. So I was only able to buy 2 shirts from Happy Days printed "Pinoy Rock" and "Juan dela Cruz Band". Prayer meeting this evening. For sometime now, I've been almost grew cold of our prayer meetings. Short worship, group by twos and pray. Next week same. Next week still the same. I've been thirsting for a new wine from God. And tonight He made it so...

Waiting On You Again

by Casey Corum & Brent Helming Vineyard Music "Dwell" I've been down this road so many times before | And here I am on this road again | I'm asking for mercy in spite of my sin | Oh Lord, You are the only One who loves me this way [+] Here I am | Here I am | Waiting on You again | Waiting on You again Lord, Your faithful love is watching over me | Though I often try and turn the other way | But now I come in surrender to Your unchanging grace | Oh Lord, You are the only One who loves me this way

Watched movie today at Glorietta. Saw She's The Man starring Amanda Bynes from Nickelodeon. This movie is a modern adaptation of the comedy Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. Despite it's teeny movie style, movie was real fun and entertaining. Had been anticipating it after I saw it's trailer and back in highschool I played Sebastian in the play.

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else."

- Paul (Acts 17:24-25)

My Top 5 American Idol Finalists (who cares right? whatever... hehe). Mind you, AI4 winner Carrie Underwood was my bet since Day 1 and she won.

You're the One

From "Chronicles of Narnia" Original Soundtrack by Chris Tomlin I heard Your song coming over the hill | I knew it seemed like the world stood still | You were singin a melody that caught me by surprise | Yeah it sounded familiar to me, like I'd known it all my life And I keep looking down as I move in closer | My heart is racing now with fear and wonder | Could I come back to You so long on my own | From where I am, I know this is not my home [+] You're the one I believe | A king, and friend has always been holding onto me | You're the one that I have seen | Your life and death the endless breath breathing into me | Just the mention of Your name and I know, I know I've found love | 'Cause You're the one High in a hidden world is where You are found | Where every living thing circles around | I find myself again where I used to be | With the rescued ones falling on my knees [-] In Your presense there is mercy | In the fear, joy and the tears | It's Your goodness that keeps on, keeps on calling us here | Drawing us near

It's a great morning here at office. Came in a little late 'cause I didn't have the car so I took the train. Yesterday's sectional joint fellowship we organized was great. Yesterday's word of the day was "so far so good." Every sectional event more churches are participating so that's great. I'm finally getting a clearer picture of the direction I need to take (I have to discuss this further next time). Thanks to a series of small but significant events that happened this week. I really praise God. Wow. This is really great. One and the most important encounter was God's Word for me yesterday morning. It was before sunrise. I slept late that night. But somehow I woke up at 4:30AM not feeling sleepy. I knew something was going on, God woke me up to fellowship with Him. And I did. For the first time in the longest time I had this peace and assurance that He still moves mountains. He led me to a scripture in Job that speaks of even in times of trouble, "I know that my Redeemer lives." And He also led me to Psalm 139, that says He is "intimately acquainted" with me and He has "enclosed me behind and before." Those words took my breath away. God is so good. All the time!

My fast ends today. Praise the Lord!!!

Psalm 139

1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me. 2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. 3 You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O LORD, You know it all. 5 You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it. 7 Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. 9 If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, 10 Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night," 12 Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day Darkness and light are alike to You. 13 For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. 14 I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; 16 Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. 17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand When I awake, I am still with You. 19 O that You would slay the wicked, O God; Depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed. 20 For they speak against You wickedly, And Your enemies take Your name in vain. 21 Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? 22 I hate them with the utmost hatred; They have become my enemies. 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; 24 And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.

Woke up early today for no reason. This week I've been wrapping up school. Only a few more requirements to complete in my last subject then I'm done. I so wanted to get this semester over and done so I could start anew. This series of my young adult life had been crazy, idle and fleeting. Lots of things going on in my mind. Mind warfare, what if's, decisions, plans which accomplishes nothing. For one, I've been thinking of my current status in life. After Missions Week, I got positive feedbacks about my designs for our exhibit. And I thought, God gave me this talent. Why am I suppressing it, by drawing away from it. For sometime now, after I left design as a professional job to seek a more 'godly' pursuit (more like martyr-ical depravation), my pursuit in 'serving' God 'full-time' led me barely a steps away from where I, the person, was. I wanted to prove that I could give up anything 'for God', which I think is an egotistic pursuit on my part. I thought, does my present state a viable witness for Christ? Perhaps, I'm too hard on myself. For now, I'm confused. (Temporarily halted due to confusion)... Was God talking to me then before I jumped aboard? Am I just cowardly backing-out of the circumstances placed in front of me? God please clear my mind. I want to be where you want me to be. In my mind, I want to do freelance work again, free time, own time, good money. Own time means time for ministry. Good money means resources for ministry.

(Top: Patrick, Erene, Soma & Jonathan; Bottom: Vrishni, Mutya & Isaac) After production (Missions Week) late dinner and celebration at Shakey's Blue Wave.

ASCM Missions Week is finally over. IT WAS A BLAST! We accomplished our purpose to create awareness within campus grounds and fund-raise for the missionary we're going to support. We had a missions exhibit, room to room awareness and prayer, we did two mission chapel services and a fund-raising concert. It was the first class project I most definitely enjoyed. We should have more of these stuff in other classes (well, these are highschool stuff). Hats off to the team who worked beyond what was required of them, and to take note that we are all masteral students. Most of all, I made some good friends along the way... Thank You Lord! It's A New Season [+] It's a new season | It's a new day | A fresh anointing is flowing my way | It's a season of power and prosperity | It's a new season and it's coming to me The devil's time is up no longer can he bother me | 'Cause the controller of the universe He fathers me | And it's transferable Your children's children will be free | It's a new season If you don't know but now You need to know it's jubilee | When debts are cancelled and Your children walk in victory | It's all available to You right now just taste and see | It's a new season The new millenium presents a new horizon | And no greater time to make a choice and take us in | All that we need is resting safely in the Master's hands | It's a new season All that was stolen is returned to you a hundredfold | Tried in the fire but you're coming out, go! | [When to His hand], yes to every promise, take a hold | It's a new season

Missions week at school this week. Our class in missions are spearheading the events. I was assigned to work on print and media, it was fun working on it. Plus working together bonded classmates more. Praise God. Last Sunday I saw Memoirs of Geisha. Finally was able to watch a movie (since Narnia). It was a shock that movie tickets cost P120 regardless of your seat of choice. Points go to pirated DVDs. I like the subtlety of Memoirs, though the movie was dominated by women actors, I enjoyed watching the mentoring development between apprentice Sayuri (Zhang Zi Yi) and big sister Mameha (Michelle Yeo).

Happiness in Small Packages

Shallow as it is, I felt a sudden happy feeling when I bought a dirty ice cream, yes, 5 large scoops of dirty ice cream for 10 pesos only.

"Happiness is like a cat, If you try to coax it or call it, it will avoid you; it will never come. But if you pay not attention to it and go about your business, you'll find it rubbing against your legs and jumping into your lap."

- William Bennett

ATS closes its two-day forum in Union Church of Manila entitled "Naming the Unknown God, 2nd ATS Forum" Overall the sessions were great, learned a lot. I was able to listen to great theologians presenting their papers about cross-cultural missions, discipleship and witnessing to New Religious Movements (NRMs) such as Iglesia ni Cristo and Ang Dating Daan. Listening to them inspires me to write papers in the future. Hm, kuya, you might be right. Hehe. It was a great time of fellowship with my fellow ASCM schoolmates. Also the location was awesome. It was the first time I went to Union Church of Manila and I really appreciated its architecture inside and out. Closing ceremonies was also inspiring. The program was obviously conservative baptist, but I felt that even in the midst of solemnity and conservatism, God's presence was so POWERFUL in our midst. Singing hymns and listening to oriental numbers from Asian Institute of Liturgy and Music was a break from the charismatic loudness of the pentecostal. I learned to appreciate denominational liturgy. While this was taking place, outside people were rallying to oust for the Nth time our president GMA, who (arrogantly, I thought) declared herself as the best person to lead the nation. Earlier she declared a state of national emergency. A while ago in the news a newspaper office was raided by the government. Are these foreshadowing the dawn of Martial Law 2?

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, great devotions; … who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

- Theodore Roosevelt

It's 22nd night of my Internet fast. I praise God that He enabled me to be faithful in committing in this discipline. I thought, it's not a difficult feat, once you set your heart on it. I'm not saying that I perfectly did it, because at certain times though refrain from plugging from the Internet, the part where I should devote myself to communion with God sometimes slips out of my discipline. This month has been a time of utter lowness in terms of personal confidence. I've been failing in relationships. I thank God that He gave me the courage to face it. I am made to face my selfishness, pride and conceit. One thing I learned that change or transformation doesn't arrive when you refrain from vehicles that lead to the failure to meet the standard of God, but it happens through an inner decision, even at the expense of committing yourself to daily renewal; an inner pact with the inner self to preserve self-respect and ultimately actively committing to a daily renewed/fresh desire to the denial of self. Lord, help me not to miss my mark. I am Your polished arrow. I thank You that I am able to commune with You, as I am, as one talking to a friend. See me through the blood of Christ. Thank You for giving me good friends. Help me to cherish and treasure them today more than yesterday. I love You, Lord.

Monday, went to work, didn't get much work done. Left early. In the evening, had discipleship training with Zarah and Teresa after which we visited Rosalie and Erik at home, they are leaving for Isabela soon. Today I'm going to attend a seminar in Makati. Also have class.

Remembering the sad songs of the seventies... Tag-Araw, Tag-ulan by Hajji Alejandro Tag-araw, sa may dagat namasyal At pagdilim sa may baybay humimlay At nagyakap sabay sa pagsabog ng alon Sabay sa paghuni ng ibon Saksi ay liwanag ng buwan Di ba sabi mo pa na wala kang iba Na ako ang una sa pagmamahal mo sinta At ang buhay nating dal'wa ay nagbunga Ng makulay na pag-ibig na dakila Nguinit bakit ngayong umuugong ang hangi't ulan? Sinlamig ng gabi ang mga halik mo Ni wala ng apoy titig mo sa akin Naglaho ba ang pagmamahal mo sinta? Hindi ko din inaasahan ang mga pangyayari At dinadamdam ko din ng husto ang pagkasawi ng ating pag-ibig Ngunit, kailangan tangapin natin na ganito ang buhay Ibig ko lang malaman mo na mahal pa rin kita At nagyakap sabay sa pagsabog ng alon... Di ba sabi mo pa na wala nang iba At sa habang buhay tayo'y magsasama Nakamtan ko ang pagmamahal mo sinta Ngunit bakit sa tag-ulan ay naglaho? Sinlamig ng gabi ang mga halik mo Ni wala ng apoy titig mo sa akin Naglaho ba ang pagmamahal mo sinta?

Psalm 25

1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;

2 in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.

3 No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.

4 Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths;

5 guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.

7 Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.

8 Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

9 He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.

10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

11 For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

13 He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land.

14 The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.

15 My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.

17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish.

18 Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.

19 See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me!

20 Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.

21 May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you.

22 Redeem Israel, O God, from all their troubles!

"However, the Most High does not live in houses made by men. As the prophet says: "'Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. What kind of house will you build for me? says the Lord. Or where will my resting place be? Has not my hand made all these things?'"

- Stephen (Acts 7:48-49)

Solutions without questions: Encouraging the Search for Truth

Receiving mere information does little to further a student's quest for knowledge. And the process of learning things without having a real interest in them or failing to see the relevance of what we are learning does little to make things a real part of our lives. Henri Nouwen believes that one of the 'problems of education remains that solutions are offered without the existence of a question'. Much religious education suffers from the same problem. Doctrines are taught, but they are not the response to issues with which people are struggling. Worse than that, in many religious establishments the question is not encouraged. People are given what the religious leaders think is important for them to hear. Much religious teaching is therefore wide of the mark. In the search for truth, nothing can be more encouraging than to be aware of the issues with which we are struggling and to find ourselves with friends who are not only prepared to walk with us towards the answers, but who also ask further questions of us.

- Dare to Journey by Charles Ringma

3 Things I learned from Dr. T - God is the stability of my times - The power of Power Praying (eyes open, pray loud, walk with energy) - There is a worse thing than being single: marrying the wrong person

You Gotta Be

by Desiree Listen as your day unfolds | Challenge what your future holds | Try to keep your head up to the sky | Lovers they may cause you tears | Go ahead release your fears | Stand up and be counted, don't be shamed to cry [+] You gotta be - You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser You gotta hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together. All I know, all I know Love will save the day Herald what your mother said | Read the books your father read | Try to solve the puzzle in your own sweet time | Some may have more cash than you | Others take a different view | My oh my Time asks no questions, it goes on without you | Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace | The world keeps on spinning, can't stop it if you tried to | The best part is danger staring you in the face

The LORD is exalted, for He dwells on high; He has filled Zion with justice and righteousness. And He will be the stability of your times, A wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; The fear of the LORD is his treasure.

Isaiah 33:5-6

Great day yesterday. Overall it was an eating spree. Woke up in the morning to get to chapel service. Came in as worship is almost over. Found a seat beside Mutya. The message of Dr. Tappeiner really caught the condition of my heart. It was funny that he mentions things that I can relate to. He talked about God being the stability of our times, even in times when our surrounding and even ourselves are unstable. I was really encouraged by that. Dr. T is currently undergoing serious medication right now for stopping leukemia in his body. He goes in and out of the hospital right now. I am really blessed by this person, that even in spite of this, he still actively serves and imparts knowledge to people because of his calling. Lunchtime, Mutya, Emmanuel and I went to North Park on the other side of Ayala Ave. to have lunch. We ate till we were full. The menu: Nanking beef hotpot with radish, Stirfried soft tofu with brocolli, fried rice with souffle, and century eggs and jellyfish salad. Mutya had difficulty eating the century egg because I told them how they were made. But Emmanuel just downed it, because I hadn't told him the story until we were done eating. This is how I explained the process of making century eggs: Duck eggs are boiled then buried in horse manure for some years until it rots then it becomes Century Egg. That's how I was taught too. But I just researched on century eggs and this is really how they make it.

So Nice (Summer Samba)

by Bebel Gilberto Someone to hold me tight | That would be very nice | Someone to love me right | That would be very nice | Someone to understand | Each little dream in me | Someone to take my hand | And be a team with me [+] So nice, life would be so nice | If one day I'd find someone who would take my hand and samba through life with me Someone to cling to me | Stay with me right or wrong | Someone to sing to me some little samba song | Someone to take my heart and give her heart to me | Someone who's ready to give love a start with me [+] Oh yeah, that would be so nice... I could see you and me, that would be nice

You Surround Me

by Brian Doerksen You surround me | You indwell me | You're beside me | Ever present always near | You're the whisper calling my name gently | Love eternal | Reaching to me jealous for me [+] I will stay with You forever | Arm in arm we'll walk together | You will never let me go | I can't live my life without You | My whole will to live is for You | You've awakened me to know I can't live my life without You...

Finished my day task for today. Quite proud of it. I am currently designing a student textbook for Africa called iMatter. This contains stories that tells about God, activities and helpful information about AIDS (AIDS is a big deal problem in Africa)... Lord, I pray that many young people would eventually get hold of this book and know You. Speaking of Africa, I heard our OT professor, Ma'am Marcia Anderson, is moving to Africa in one or two semesters to pursue God's calling to go there. I'm gonna miss that lady. She's made an impact in my life.

"As we grow older, we learn that even the one person that was not supposed to ever let you down will probably do. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it gets harder everytime. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when your heart was broken. You will fight with your bestfriend and you will blame a new love for things an old one did. You will cry because time is passing too fast and you will eventually lose someone you love. So take so many pictures, laugh so much, take time to look up a the stars, sing loudly, feel the cold wind, smile a lot and love like you have never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend is a minute of hapiness you will never get back..."

Ah the irony of life. One minute you happy, then it turns on you. Got really a very, very depressing news yesterday. Well, the laughs are on me. I looked at God again, "Why? Why allow me to experience this pain and frustration? How does You being my "highest reward" fit in all these?" "Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you When you think everything's okay and everything's going right, And life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong And everything blows up in your face."

- Alanis Morisette

I'm here in the library. We don't have a professor today, but he left us with a seatwork to do which I don't really wanna do because I feel it's just a ploy to keep us busy. But anyway, I have yet to tell how awesome our school retreat was. But I can't find time to do this because I can't go online in the evening because I'm still in my Internet fast, lost count of days already. In the day I'm either at work or school. But it's all good. 2nd week of fasting I'm already feeling the urges to break my commitment, but I will see myself victorious. I realize how a great deal I'm committed to this when I put it on paper. It's still hanging on my headboard. In the meantime, waiting for the photocopies for our seatwork.. Dead time. Board meeting in the evening. Valentines is getting closer, and I'm feeling awkward knowing that Valentines fall on Tuesday.

This was God's word to me during the retreat (I know God has impressed this to Kuya first, but He led me to this Scripture anyway): After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward."

- Genesis 15:1

My Favorite Things #3 - Yellow Cab Pistachio Ice Cream

This is my favorite Ice Cream today. Yellow Cab Pizza's Pistachio Ice Cream. This is not like other Pistachio Ice Cream (There's BTC Pistacio Ice Cream), this has real pistachio nuts (I like pistachios very much). Costs P90 but it's a true rewarding experience! :) My Favorite Things #2 - Chronicles of Narnia My Favorite Things #1 - Demitri Martin

40-Day After-Six Internet fast - Day 3

Day 3 of my 40-Day After-Six Internet fast, so far so good. It's a good feeling. I realize it makes a LOT of difference when you commit yourself to do something and put it on paper. For me, I printed this commitment form, like a contract, and taped it on the headboard, signed by me, with spaces for three witnesses, my brother, my mom and dad. One time I woke up and my dad was reading my contract, so funny. Well, that's accountability I need. Yesterday, I went to office to finish up the Book of Hope Filipino. The project was due yesterday that we stayed there til 10PM to finish proofreading the books. Apparently the hired translator (from OMF mind you) didn't quite do a good job with the translation, which she already got away with her pay. The Filipino translation was so bad, as if you were reading the writing of a Chinese-Filipino. Today, I'm taking life as simple as I could. Thank God one subject is already done, my Personal Life Management professor had to leave early for some scheds (he's our school president Dr. CQ) so he left us with a series of instructors to teach us instead. But with requirements already done for PLM, attending the class is only needed. Monday and Tuesday, I will be going to our school retreat in Rizal, excited to rest and worship!

Everyone who reads my blog, please help me achieve this by making me accountable...

I, Patrick Tan, am committing myself to a 40-Day After-Six Internet fast. This will commence every 6PM starting tonight, February 1, 2006 and will end on March 12, 2006. The time I spend on Internet will be used for Bible reading, prayer and reading supplemental Christian literature. When this ends by the grace of God, I expect to develop a habit of minimizing usage of Internet for important purposes only; I expect to maximize my sleeping time; and develop a strict discipline of devotion and prayer.

Signed, Patrick Tan

I like the practical simplicity of this statement: "If people talk negatively about you, live in such a way that no one will believe them."

Reflection Paper on William Carey Video This is a reflection paper on the William Carey video our class in Leadership in Mission watched last two Tuesdays. Before seeing this video, I have hardly any idea who William Carey is. From our reading, he pioneered one of the three most influential missionary efforts in modern history. Watching this video helped me understand his life and learned a couple of lessons from his life along the way. Born in 1761 England, William Carey is today the "father of modern missions" in pioneering missions to coastal lands in India in 1792. He is a Baptist minister, and then a professor in the latter part of his life in India. Though portrayed to have two children in the video, Carey had four children and was married Dorothy. His decision to go to the east was an unpopular decision to his family. He also encountered several obstacles along the way including government and cultic hindrances. But I think the greatest challenge he faced was living with the familial apathy for his work and subduing his later insane wife. His wife died and he remarried twice after that. His active ministry yielded few converts. However, his greatest contribution to modern missions and even to Christian faith itself was his translation of the Bible into Bengali, Sanskrit and 44 other local Indian dialects which still exists until today. What struck me most is the amount of focus and dedication of William Carey had for his work. I began to question my dedication for the Lord's work. "How far will I go for God?" Carey went on to follow the voice of God in spite of opposition from his family, authorities, the people he tried to evangelized and even his own self (when he struggled on his calling). Carey had to give up a good life in England, and even the privilege to provide for his family. By this I remember the prophet Jeremiah, who also had to give up a whole lot of him (including his Jewish right to marry) to reach out to people who seemed not to care. Today I am experiencing the same challenge of obeying the Lord while obeying my parents. Though my parents are committed Christians, I feel I am letting them down and I giving up my responsibility to provide for my family by pursuing my calling and not an architectural profession. Through this video, somehow I am encouraged because no matter how bleak, the words of our Lord "will not return to [Him] empty." Therefore I pray that God will hone my vision and focus as I run toward the goal He has set before me. Reflection Paper on Hudson Taylor Video James Hudson Taylor is the founder of China Inland Missions (now Overseas Missions Fellowship or OMF) and like William Carey became one of the pillars of modern missions as the second wave of missionary efforts took Hudson to inland China. He is notably known for his extreme commitment to cultural sensitivity by wearing Chinese clothing and living their ways which was rare among missionaries at that time. Taylor video isn't that good perhaps because of acting and scriptwriting but enough to be understood Taylor's missionary work and his great contribution to modern missions. Converted at the age of 17, Hudson decided to become a missionary to China December of 1849. About this time he began to study Mandarin and also began studying medicine in 1852. His first and second mission to China (1854) was that of abrupt. His return to England allowed him to marry and equip himself respectively. His wife is named Maria. They had more children than Carey, though the video included only their first two children, Grace and Herbert. More children were born to them during his times both in England and China. Later, Maria died in the field and Taylor remarried again and had more children. Taylor began to look for volunteers prior to his third trip and with 24 volunteers, he founded China Inland Mission. Conflicts within the team hindered their success but later resolved with the death of Taylor's first child, Grace. Hudson's life, like Carey, speaks to me in terms of his dedication and persistence to finish the work God started in him. Hudson dedicated his life for a people not his own. I am challenged by Taylor's (and Carey's) initiative and commitment and would strive to do the same if given the chance - meaning, I am still in search of my missionary calling. I hear that when missionaries are called to go, God puts everything in place. This is a challenge to me, because I believe that it would also take an effort on the part of the missionary to choose to obey God. I feel that if God totally pave the way for the Christian to go to the field, it would be an easy choice for him, therefore a choice of less passion and cost. But perhaps this is not so, for God calls in various ways. I pray that when God sends me, I would be ready, my commitment tested, to answer to His call even in face of greatest adversity - a vessel yielded for His use. "O Lord, I wait for your breaking..."

[Reuters]

Narnia Quotes

"You know, Aslan, I'm a little disappointed in you. Did you really think that by giving your life you would save the Human boy? Ha. You are giving up your life, and saving no one. So much for love. ... Tonight, the Deep Magic will be appeased! But tomorrow...we will take Narnia...forever! In that knowledge... Despair... and DIE!!"

- White Witch

"If the Witch knew the true meaning of sacrifice, she might have interpreted the Deep Magic a little differently. For she would know that if a willing victim who had committed no treachery died in a traitor's stead, the Stone Table would crack and even death itself would turn backwards."

- Aslan

"Impossible!"

- White Witch

Jesus went straight to the Temple and threw out everyone who had set up shop, buying and selling. He kicked over the tables of loan sharks and the stalls of dove merchants. He quoted this text: "My house was designated a house of prayer; You have made it a hangout for thieves." (Matthew 21:12-13, The Message) Lord, forgive me when I use your Temple as a den for darkness and evil thoughts when my body should be used only for Your glory, a House that worships and submits to Your will.

Sunday, after service & youth staff meeting went home and dozed off, woke up at 8pm. It's a good feeling of rest.

I thank God that finally I am able to get some good sleep after a week of sleepless nights. Truly rest is a treasured reward. Past few days I've been reading the Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It's great that the movie was true to the book. This was the second time I read a novel after seeing the movie, the first one was Lord of the Rings, began to read it after Two Towers movie. I just feel that Narnia movie could have been better, because I feel that the characters weren't that developed and built up (unlike LOTR) and the set and costumes were to bright and kiddie, I guess they focused on children as demographic. But it's all good, still it made me tear up because of its biblical similarity (although C.S. Lewis insist that this isn't an allegory of Christ, but a creative/imaginary incarnation of Christ, if He would live in Narnia).

Turkish Delight

by the David Crowder Band Stumbled through the doorway | Into the strangest thing | An unexpected magic land | With snow beneathe my feet | Came across a lady who | Dressed herself in white | She took her coat to cover me | Then a query cold as ice | What do you want? Turkish Delight, it's my favorite thing | Turkish Delight, what I wouldn't do | Turkish Delight, it's my favorite thing, it gets me every time | Turkish Delight, all I want to do | What I wouldn't do for her? Wouldn't think I'd fall for it | Wouldn't think I'd lie | But I think I'd do anything | For that tiny bit of pie | I would sell you out | I'd give you all away | A life of treats might do me in | But I gotta get another taste

Finally was able to watch The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe in G4 yesterday. Movie is very moving as it allegorizes biblical references especially Christ. After movie, went to buy the book and CD inspired by Narnia. Talk about obsessive compulsive. Music Inspired by the Chronicles of Narnia

1. Waiting For The World To Fall - Jars Of Clay
2. Remembering You - Steven Curtis Chapman
3. Open Up Your Eyes - Jeremy Camp
4. Hero - Bethany Dillon
5. Stronger - Delirous?
6. Lion - Rebecca St. James
7. New World - Tobymac
8. I Will Believe - Nichole Nordeman
9. Turkish Delight - David Crowder Band
10. More Than It Seems - Kutless
11. You're The One - Chris Tomlin

Guys, today is the most productive day. My arms are aching from muscle pain because I played badminton tonight. And I just got home. But before I retire, I would like to take this opportunity to give God the glory. I will right the events that transpired today in outline form for now: 7AM - Woke up around 7AM, met client in MRT Buendia about project. 9AM - Went to school, library to cram on my Personal Life Management paper. 11AM - Attended chapel service, led Scripture reading and opening prayer. Worship service was awesome. Ma'am Marcia passed her thesis for doctorate that she gave us a blow-out. 12NN - Continued cramming on my 15-page paper in the prayer room. Realized it was already 30 minutes before class, and barely half of the paper completed. I stopped doing it and tried to look for my professor to ask for a grace period. 2PM - Class, I was nervous because I have nothing to pass. Apparently there were 3 of us who would not be able to pass. Talked to my professor, he wants it on his desk until next Thursday. Score will be deducted for late paper. 5PM - Went to Glorietta 4 with Mutya, Jo and Erene to watch "Don't Give Up on Us" by Piolo and Juday after a dare to watch a Tagalog flick last night in YM conference. 8PM - Left Makati to go to Timog Avenue, my childhood buddy and I will be playing badminton with his sister and his British friend. I sucked at the game. Everyone paired up to me lost. But it was ok, it was so kind of his friend that he taught me some moves. 12MN - Dinner in Baang Cafe in Tomas Morato. I praise God that I was able to share my testimony to them. And they are quite receptive to it. His sister is already a Christian. So on Monday and Thursday we will play badminton again. They also wanted to gather a Bible Study group (when I offered them). Perhaps in two weeks we will start discussing PDL. 3AM - after much catching up and chit chats. I went home. Praise God, praise God!!!

Just came home from school. Did a lot today. Finally one project off my back as I delivered 150 CDs that my brother burned for the past 3 days for a client. Had a meeting with Liberal Party regarding their anniversary presentation. By the way, I had only two hours of sleep today, thanks to this anniversary presentation. Client's project manager had not been an epitome of my perceived leadership since he was such a delegatory (in other words, dumping) leader without clear strategic plan of attack on the project. It's difficult for a choleric to sometimes stand useless in a pressing problem that could have had better solutions. At noon, I went to school to prepare for Leadership in Missions exam. Arrived 2 hours earlier which I spent its first hour to catch up on sleep and the other to review for my classes. Our missions class is having a missions awareness week in the school as a class project, little excited about it because I could contribute in the aspect of design and music. On the last hour we watched a biographical video of William Carey. OT class at 5PM, watched a video on Jeremiah the prophet. It was a good movie. Film maker took the liberty to use poetic license by adding Jeremiah's love interest, Judith, in the plot. Third week on this presentation project. Need to get this done. I need to rest.

Today is a great day... so far :) Lately I've not been getting enough sleep because of a project I'm doing. I really want to get it over and done so I could take time out. Carecell last Saturday was awesome especially the worship. For some time I've been really seeking the presence of God, and at that time He made His presence known. It was when I offer myself to other people, through listening and prayer, that I began to feel God working in me again. Worship was truly awesome. McDonalds after Carecell, then as we prepare to go home, I learned that the car keys were left in the ignition - again. I had to wait for my dad to scooter his keys to me again. My dad is so patient with me. Went home and continued working on projects. Slept late. I am beginning to realize that sleeping late and waking without complete sleeping hours really affects my communion with Him. Sunday, I led worship and He was there again. If only the congregation would learn to stay passionate for God, we wouldn't be the same again. In the afternoon, my family visited my dad's aunt despite my brother's hesitation because we were dead tired.

Do Not Worry

If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion--do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best--dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers--most of which are never even seen-- don't you think he'll attend to you,

take pride in you,

do his best for you?

What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

- Jesus Christ Luke 6:25-34 THE MESSAGE

As of this moment, I just got up from a 20-minute nap. I have this project going on and I have to present tomorrow morning. Just wrapping up some huge stuff. The slowness of my computer doesn't help. I'm typing from the other computer... Anyway, I've been out of the blog lately. Been very, very, VERY busy. I could rant but what can ranting do? I just came into conclusion that this is not what He wants me to be in. I need time to sit out and assess my activities and plans. Lots of things are going on my head. I thought of taking the board exam, putting up a business... actually there's a reason behind that but I'm too tired to explain. But one thing's sure, I want to be in full communion with God again. These past few days have been really hectic that I miss my appointments with Him. I'm thankful that I was able to spend time with Him when I drove to work last Monday, I turned the radio off and just began to talk to Him and I really felt His presence. I want that now. I must admit that there is a feeling in my being that I am missing.

Sermon on the Riverside

Today is first work day of the year. Struggled to wake up at 8AM, came to office past 9AM in assumption that I was already late. I was the third person who came in, been waiting outside the office for 30 minutes because the doorbell was broken and the phones were in voice mail. Worked on typesetting an English Book of Hope to Tagalog, still missing some resources. Fasting at lunchtime, we shared testimonies of how God has been faithful to everyone in the team. It was an encourager and an eye-opener, how despite the challenges and trials each one of us went through, the fact that God is the same faithful and loving God yesterday, today and forever does not change. 30 minutes to 4, Kuya Rodel rallies the team to go to Marikina Riverside Park for early dinner. It's only 30 minutes drive from the office. It was my first time to go there. The park is clean in a sense that it's all nature. No wonder it's hailed as the cleanest city in the Philippines. The river was literally full of janitor fish, the only existing fish in Marikina River because they wiped out other fish population after some pet owner threw his janitor fish in the river some decade ago. Dinner. Kuya Rodel took us to a riverside grill. The food was OK and abundant for a cheap price. We were 13 in all. Each of us paid P90 full and satisfied. We feasted on sisig, maya-maya sa miso, grilled pusit, pork barbeque, grilled tilapia, green mangoes with onions and bagoong, and Sprite... Then at the end of dinner as we prepare to leave, a homeless boy suddenly approached our table to ask for scraps. In an unexpected response some of the team, Kuya Rodel and Kuya James offered the boy to give him full dinner. There were still left-overs from our dinner, so they ordered rice for Arsenio, the boy's name shortly after chatting with him. He ate beside me, where Kuya James was. Obviously he was very hungry and managed to down 3 cups of rice. He was homeless, sleeps and wanders in the park, dirty, only finished third grade in elementary, hardly knows how to read - sitting beside me. I was stunned. Stunned meaning I didn't know how to react in a neutral sense. I didn't know how to speak to him naturally, human to human, without feeling an inch of disregard and even hypocrisy. Earlier they were teasing me that I'm not used to eating food such as these, meaning I'm some picky rich guy or something which is totally not true. It was a guilt feeling even if I hardly moved in my chair, thinking how I would fail to even see and initiate contact with this kid in a deeply involved way. Clearly it was a dealing of the heart. I was humbled by their goodness and they couldn't care less what other people would say. They even made an effort to share Jesus to him, that Jesus loves him, and even sincerely offered to take him home for a bath. It was a slap in my face. What a lesson God has taught me today. After that, we walked around, Kuya Rodel dropped me and Kuya James at MRT Station and rode home.