Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Keeping Up with Life

Woke up around 8AM. Parents went to Angeles to pick up my grandfather. Our house in Angeles was already sold to a Swedish and now they don't know where to relocate the old man. My mother's father is the last remaining patriarch in the family. The old man seems stronger than he ought to be. I call him kong-kong, which supposedly means grandfather in Fukkien. My lolo is a Chinese immigrant during the 40's. I know he served during World War II having seen pictures. He married my lola, who is a Leytenian. Lately, have I known that I lolo had another family in China, which was common to most Chinese immigrants (See Mano Po 2). Now he's immobile. Having slipped in their bathroom, it snapped something in his spine which made him immobile. That guy can sometimes be stubborn I remember, most elders are in denial of their losing strength and youth. I think I heard he's got Parkinson's disease, I'm not very sure. I haven't got much to reminisce about him. Even being the second male grandchild (third grandchild). All hidden somewhere at the back of my mind. Yesterday, I went to process my student fee in the bank. I will be taking a two-week Campus Ministry course in Baguio next, next week. After that I was to shop for swimming trunks. But when I was at the mall, I felt it was an unnecessary expense, so I bought books instead which are equally unnecessary. I bought a dive book, Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll and T3 magazine. Right now time seems to drag my life with it. Just tagging along. With no sense of direction and long-term objective. My life is now at a halt. I even became to lazy to post on this blog. During the weekend. My computer got this bug that kept rebooting when I opened it. Windows won't start. I took it to the shop last Sunday. And the next day they told me, the hard drive crashed. No back-ups, no files. There goes a year's work and portfolio down the drain. There goes my extensive collection of mp3's. And other stuff which sure kick me with loss when I remember them one by one. The most sucking thing is that I was still in the middle of a project with a local political party, which now might have condemned me after calling them that my PC just crashed. But there is still hope, I hope. The shop is going to send it to another shop, in an effort to find another way to recover my files. O God, I hope you get those files back! Maybe this is one of the reasons, why my life right now is such a drag. My computer was my life and bread and butter and now it's gone. It's like experiencing amnesia. All those good memories/files... gone. I believe all things happen for a purpose. It's a cause and effect. I believe this is one of those things I refer to as 'discipline of the Lord' (Deut 11:2). I have not been quite the Christian I am supposed to be. Lately my devotions with Him is inconsistent. And I've been going over the fence and back. This morning I got the chance to spend time with Him. Read His Word. Hear His Words. I'm tired of being this weak person who justifies his weakness to jump over the fence. But accepting my weakness is the way for Him to work on me and through me. Somehow I realize my life is a routine, which before I considered to be adventure-istic, yet still alternative. With my preciuos PC gone, a large piece of my life was gone. By the way, I'm using my brother's PC, which was my first PC. And tomorrow, hopefully, I will be reunited with my PC, restored or formatted.

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