The Mind of a Melancholeric Man 1.0

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Right now I'm at an Internet cafe. Our phone is down since last two days. Sucks. A part of my life is at halt, which freaks me because I have nothing to do when there is no Internet present, even with a PC. Maybe it's the feeling of being not connected to the outside world. Or feeling of being useless. Last night I decided to watch a marathon of Lord of the Rings in my PC. I made it until half of the Two Towers and I began to sleep.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

The School of Brokenness

I have already finished reading A Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards. What a very powerful book. It shamefully speaks of me, in similar ways, an Absalom and a Saul to some people. Reading the book proves that truth can sometimes be very difficult to digest. Kuya Sur introduced me to this 'school of brokenness' which he is also a student. So now we're classmates. It says there are two portions to God's being, if I understood correctly. One is power and the other is humility/brokenness. Which of the two would you desire to acquire if given a chance. More years, we've been praying for God's power and anointing, but within the far corners of our minds ambition a.k.a. pride slips into our hearts. Humility on the other hand is something we cultivate within ourselves. That was one of the contrasting qualities of King Saul and King David. The first sought power, the latter was an alumni of the school of brokenness. I learned that during times of attack. David did nothing to counter-attack. What an amazing guy. And surely God fought for him. He didn't raise a hand over his enemies. Saul killed himself, Absalom was caught by the tree branches. As I ponder this remarkable revelation. I am kind of confused where to place myself during my own times of threat and attack. King David simply did nothing, didn't counter-attack a smallest bit. I pray that I may pass this school of brokenness. Brethrens have been saying that I will soon be subject to being broken by the Lord. It's funny because people think I'm this 'conio' guy who doesn't want to get his hands dirty. Well actually, I've been anticipating God's breaking in my life.

We Have Moved Again

I'm back. This week we had moved house again, for good I hope. We moved from MCU to 10th Avenue in Caloocan. My father owns the house. It's a good thing though because we won't pay rent anymore. This house was truly a blessing from God. We didn’t expect to find a three-floor house at a low price. My parents are very prayerful. My internet connection has just been restored. There is only one PLDT phone line here. I was asking to apply for another phone line solely for my internet connection because I always get online to do work or be 'alive' for that matter. I was thinking of subscribing to PLDT myDSL but the fee is way to high almost 4 times more expensive than my dial-up subscription today. Our room is almost set-up. I'm hoping to set-up a gym and my marine reef aquarium again if given a freer time. My neighborhood now is a typical Pinoy suburb. Lots of people in the street, trying to cool off in the night. Lots of kids playing. I've not been a good neighbor lately as I have suffered a delayed reaction from the neighbor's friendly greetings. I just realize they were greeting me a few seconds after. I hope I get to meet them again so they won't brand me as 'suplado'.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Bought this Director MX book. I feel like venturing into Shockwave.

Kuya Sur gave me this book, A Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards. It talks about a leader's character towards power, authority and opposition. Thanks Kuya.

Last night I met Kuya Sur. Again we talked or he talked while I pondered on his philosophical questions. It's cool though, exercise of the mind. I am more logical in thinking as I told him. I remember when people begin to talk about theories and philosophies I tend to look stupid because I really don't go much to that side of the brain. I perceive philosophies & theories are invisible, formless, non-matter objects that my logical mind finds hard to grasp. I tend to freeze on impromptu questions of the like. That's why I would fail in a Question & Answer portion of a beauty pageant. Well, that's me.. The question of how the prosperous walk in faith is again brought up. Finally he revealed the answer: Contentment is how the prosperous walk in faith. I really appreciate Kuya Sur's time spending with me. I begin to see the other sides of being a servant of the Lord. Matters of the heart, character and the being of a leader.

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36

Monday, June 21, 2004

This morning I went to Makati to drop by Roadrunner Productions, my next big project. At lunchtime I went to Masangkay to visit a student gathering of my leaders Joallyn & Brznf. There were a handful of students who showed up, all Joallyn's highschool classmates back at Philippine Cultural High School. There were specially two ladies who are friendly: Jeraldine and Joan, both Joallyn's classmates in Metropolitan Nursing College today. I pray that I may impact their lives as the days progress... As for the other students, they were a bit skeptical and not serious about our invitation to join campus ministry. My leaders were a bit discouraged & resentful but I told them we can be counted worthy to 'suffer,' (in this case to sound like a whacko to unbelieving listeners) for the gospel of Jesus. Please pray with us as the campus ministry in the Fil-Chi area opens this July. Praying for more students to join us, but nevertheless, praise God for what we have today.