Campus ministry today. We were finally warned by the McDonald's management to refrain from staying or conducting carecell after we finished eating because other people have no other seat to find. Well not only our group were notified but other groups of students who are staying at McDonalds but not eating. It's midterm exams at Chiang Kai Shek College and student's flock to McDonalds to hold group studies. I don't know if we were just warned because that day there were many students who are staying there, or if the management is watching us. What added to my paranoia was some students of our group brought liquor with them. Eventhough they said it was not really vodka but a mix of chocolate & vodka or raspberry & vodka. Still it is liquor. I noticed the management were watching us. The other group brought out UNO cards that the management thought were regular deck of cards and they were gambling. We really hit bad shot big time... Pray God will give us a new place near the school to hold our cell.

More fries and float to consume by the week at campus ministry! 

I am OK now. :) There's a point where I need to 'drown' (again) my old self dead with everything that's God's. And it drowned. Yesterday was the end of one of our campus cells in Parada National High School. I felt we were hitting a dead end. And it wasn't serving our purpose. It was a unanimous decision between me and my assistant. I sound like a quitter, though I hesistated to give it up. Somehow I don't want to let myself down. But looking at the facts, it was a wise decision made late even, where we could have prevented early on. I have to sit with my co-leader for another 30 minutes just to let it sink in that it is over. But after our conversation, hesitation is gone, like when a burden is gone. One cell down. Two to nurture. It is a good day today.

Ambigram of Timothy

Ambigram of (Kuya) Sure

Ambigram of Kimberly

Today I did nothing. Chilled out. Had an hour meeting with Pastor early afternoon. Yesterday. In the morning I went to Acropolis in Libis, QC for a meeting with a design company which a client hired and formed a team that includes me. Her office is located in her house, a very fine house. She had lots of ecclectic collections and wood furnitures. Very rustic. After the meeting I went to mall to meet my parents there to purchase some items for our house. Past days have been shaky inside, though its cause is my own stupidity. The enemy can shoot us down even in our highest flights. Pray that God's mercy lasts the night.

Today at lunch I dropped by McDonald's (again) to visit Leslie, Katrina and Bernadette a.k.a. 'Badorch' (tama ba yun?), my new friends from our cellgroup in Chiang Kai Shek College. Kat gave me a PDL Daily Inspiration Book, so sweet of her. We stayed there until 3:30PM afterwards we went to their tutoring place near the school. They tutor elementary kids. After which Lawrence, Brznf and I met to go prayerwalking in school. I came to church for practice but there was no electricity. Soon I began to panic. But an hour later power came back so we were able to practice for tomorrow's concert.

Katrina & Me

Leslie, Bernadette & Katrina

Got home an hour ago. Tired. This afternoon's campus cellgroup was unbelievable. I babysat a bunch of kids (first year highschool - 12-13 years old) in the Valenzuela highschool. Looks like they just came there for the fun and the chance to stay out home. Grabe. I felt tired. It wasn't what I expected to be. And it's becoming a burden. And they are still growing in numbers. I don't know if I would call it a opportunity or problem. I don't know if my patience is tested, I'm a natural short fuse. Campus cellgroups in the 2 college are up and running. Gearing up for our quarterly All-out Praise And Worship (APAW) for Saturday. Need.. rest..

Another ambigram artwork of my name & surname (Patrick Tan)

Check this out:
Now, view this image upside-down... cool huh... Just finished reading Dan Brown's prequel to 'Da Vinci Code' entitled the 'Angels & Demons'. It's a thriller story that revolves around the ancient war of religion and science. I discovered a fascinating form of art called 'ambigrams'. An ambigram is an art of lettering that can be viewed or read more than once from different vantage points. I made this image myself after getting the hang of doing it. 'Angels and Demons' is another 'un-put-down-able' novel full of mysteries and thrills one will keep reading to the last page.

Learning leadership is never easy

You, most of the time, learn it the hard way. The campus ministry has been up and going. In its second week, things are doing well. I believe and hope we already have a handful of committed students in the group. Now the youth cellgroups are taking yet another transformation. Our youth group is composed of 3 subgroups meeting together in the church. Now, I've decided to set the leaders with their own group to meet in the vicinity - not inside the church. The youth group, for years, resisted cell-multiplication and meeting outside which entails evangelism. We became comfortable meeting together like there is no room for others to come in the group. We became stagnant; and stagnant waters breeds parasites. A chance for my leaders to learn responsibility and exercise their leadership, without my unsettling 'interference' for I am a self-admitted control freak. Is this a wise decision? Their first week only a handful of their members joined the 'cellgroup outing' we scheduled for this week to give them a break after taking a 16-week series on the 16 Fundamental Truths of AG. Suprisingly, the youth is not thrilled in day outings more than a time of Bible study. I guess what they needed more was a break. Is my control-freakiness rearing its head again... But I need to set them loose, learn from their own experiences to become a leader who is responsible and accountable to their flock. Do I want them to be like me? Yes and No. There is some reservations on my part that keeps me from obliging them and 'follow their dreams...' Is this a right way of thinking? I remember last Thursday when I was in campus ministry in a Filipino high-school, a student posed to me a question: "Why did I choose to do ministry instead of pursuing Architecture?" Seems a very easy question with a very easy answer for me - This is my passion. But explaining this logically to a poverty-stricken Filipino student seemed impossible. Being in a setting where at a young age, students deal with serious family problems, drugs, poverty and gender-confusion, makes me overwhelmed and find my self helpless to help them. These are the times where praying with them and for them are the only means of help, until God shows me what I should say and do.

This morning I came went to the district's ministers meeting in West Avenue, QC. Met a handful of friends and 'colleagues'. Generally I still need to get used to these meetings. I felt insignificant, not because I want to be significant, but I felt this is not a place for a 'kid'. I came in late, and by myself, my dad was supposed to come with me but passed the last minute because he still needs to prepare his sermon notes for this Sunday. After lunch I went to a client meeting in Megamall. We're still closing in a deal with a big-time client. This guy talks and acts like Simon Cowell of American Idol, as in. He acts 'mataray' and tact with matching crossed arms and legs. Really comical, but a guy you wouldn't want to frustrate. While waiting for Larry the client. I went to Powerbooks to buy a Dan Brown book, "Angels and Demons" is the prequel to Brown's best-selling novel "Da Vinci Code". Dan Brown's novels are the only novels that I can read in three to four days. That's how good the story is (Except for his fictional negativism towards Christianity, particularly the Catholics). I'm not fond of reading think novels, except for the Lord of the Rings trilogy.